Ground Rules Before Starting Consider agreeing to: • Listen without interrupting.• Be curious rather than defensive.• Avoid trying to immediately solve problems.• Thank your partner for sharing, even when it's difficult to hear.• Take breaks if either person becomes...
"You never try to understand my feelings" "I just don't feel heard" "You don't seem to show interest in me!" If any of the above sound familiar, your partner is seeking more emotional connection. This is something you can learn, it's about validating your partner's...
You like the idea, you have enjoyed sex in the past, but something has changed. Maybe you’ve googled ‘how to get your libido back’ and ‘where has my desire gone’. Your partner is patient but sad that you don’t feel like sex anymore. Perhaps they get frustrated with...
How do you usually express yourself sexually?We each have a ‘go to’ sexual energy that will feel most natural and comfortable, (unless you are a-sexual) this is part of your erotic template, the things that get you in the mood and the things that feel sexy to you. If...
When you need to talk about something important, don’t spring it on your partner. Don’t try to talk about it when you are both going about your day. Chose a time, sit down and give each other your undivided attention. Topics that need this type of undivided attention...
Good couple communication isn't just for when you are in conflict. A great relationship is built upon deep connection, and if you are only talking about what you did during the day, what jobs are needed around the house or what the kids or the pets are doing or...
Rather than being one fixed personality, what if you were made up of lots of different parts? Like subpersonalities inside of you, your own inner family. Most of us relate to this quite intuitively- for example, maybe a part of you loves going to work, being...
When people relate to each other, we can get polarised into unhealthy positions that don’t make for a healthy, close connection. The Drama Triangle is one model that explains the mess we can sometimes get into with people we care about. The three parts of the triangle...
When couples get stuck in unhelpful patterns of communication, often it’s not so much ‘what’ is being discussed but ‘how’ it is being discussed. If one partner has something on their mind that they want to share with the other, delivery is really important. For the...
One of the most common reasons that individuals and couples seek out a sex therapist, is that they are not having much or any sexual intimacy. Some people are A-sexual, meaning they don’t feel sexual desire and that’s just how they are, but for people who are...