Internal Family Systems- Getting to know a part
Rather than being one fixed personality, what if you were made up of lots of different parts? Like subpersonalities inside of you, your own inner family. Most of us relate to this quite intuitively- for example, maybe a part of you loves going to work, being...
Get off the Drama Triangle to Save your Relationship
When people relate to each other, we can get polarised into unhealthy positions that don’t make for a healthy, close connection. The Drama Triangle is one model that explains the mess we can sometimes get into with people we care about. The three parts of the triangle...
The Art of Couple Communication
When couples get stuck in unhelpful patterns of communication, often it’s not so much ‘what’ is being discussed but ‘how’ it is being discussed. If one partner has something on their mind that they want to share with the other, delivery is really important. For the...
Help! We’re not having Sex!
One of the most common reasons that individuals and couples seek out a sex therapist, is that they are not having much or any sexual intimacy. Some people are A-sexual, meaning they don’t feel sexual desire and that’s just how they are, but for people who are...
Bringing Tantra into your Sex Life
Tantra is a ritual that each person comes to with intention. Tantra (not the ancient yogic spirituality, but what is know as 'neo-tantra / new tantra) is a practice of making sex sacred. Instead of focusing on arousal or orgasms, the focus is on connection,...
5 Powerful Ways to Show More Appreciation
If all couples increased the amount of appreciation they showed each other, I would not have many relationship counselling clients! It doesn’t matter how good your communication skills are, how practiced you are at speaking without yelling and regulating the tone of...
Chores that are Bores, and the arguments they create
No-one is going to be surprised to hear that allocation of household chores is a common gripe and cause of arguments, and a hot topic in couple counselling sessions. I always let couples know that there is no ‘correct’ or ‘fair’ way to manage things, beyond what...
Mindful Masturbation for greater Ejaculation Control
Ejaculating within the first few ‘thrusts’ of penetrative sex can be frustrating! Clients attend sex therapy looking for a way to ‘last longer’ as they might be experiencing distressing feelings of shame, frustration and even avoiding sex. They have googled 'premature...
Arguments happening often? Try this.
Couples often seek relationship counselling because they are having lots of arguments. They love each other and hate feeling like this but are stuck in bad habits. Counselling can be a great support to unpack certain themes and stuck points. I hear all the time “This...